Sunday, May 27, 2012

Avatar and Legend of Korra ships

I found this on tumblr one late night and I thought it was efffing hilarious. It's a bit long but worth reading.
Topic #1: Various Shippings (A:TLA/LOK)
So, to start this post off, I will list my top 10
1. tokka
2. maiko
3. kataang
4. katoph
5. smellershot
6. tyzula
7. borra
8. linzin
9. tahno
10. masami
As you can see, I have many crack ships. Crack ships are awesome.
Part 1: TOKKA: This would be my avatar otp, mostly because I love Toph Bei Fong with all my being and will never cease to. So I remember when I was twelve years old and I saw The Serpent’s Pass when it was first on and the part when she was like “Oh Sokka you saved me”. and Suki was like “Actually it’s me” and I was just like “Oh Toph, I love you! Suki get outta here!” Honestly, when avatar was first on I didn’t watch it that much but when I was in middle school (aka 2nd and 3rd seasons) I was somewhat strangely addicted to it. The first episode I saw with Toph was “Bitter Work” and so I didn’t like her at first but I kind of wanted to so it didn’t take me long to fall in love with her. So at first, I just thought tokka would be a really cute couple but then I saw some of the season 3 episodes, Toph dangling off the airship holding only Sokka’s hand, them sharing their most personal secrets in “The Runaway”, etc. A lot of people would say that Toph’s crush on Sokka is one-sided, and I’m not really denying that, but yes, Toph does have a soft spot for Sokka, and vice versa. I mean, take a look at season 1 Sokka. He doesn’t really trust people. To Aang he’s all “bitch get the f*** away from my sister”, you know what I’m saying? Then he meets Toph, and what I think is really cute when you think about it is the first thing he ever says about her is “I think she is GOIN’ DOWN!” and the last thing he ever says about her is “Did I ever tell you how sweet it is that you invented metalbending?” In “The Chase” Katara is all pissy-pants at her and then she insults Appa and Aang is also all pissy-pants at her. In fact, the only person who is not all pissy-pants at her is the most naturally pissy-pants of them all, Sokka. He’s never even yelled at her that I can think of. Of course, then there’s the question of sukka. Not gonna lie, when I saw “Warriors of Kyoshi” for the first time, I was just like “Psh! He’s gay!” Actually I didn’t know the meaning of the word gay at the time except that it meant “happy”. It’s SAD that people actually don’t know that the word “gay” means happy! Just so sad. I didn’t know about the concept of homosexuality until, well, about the time Toph came on the show. But anyway, I never thought a couple like him and Suki could ever last. It just seemed so…comic relief, ya know? Honestly when I think Suki, I think she’s just one of those characters who’s just…THERE. (Mean Girls: “She doesn’t even go here!”) Okay, okay. So if she has to be with someone…well there’s always Foaming Mouth Guy-except he’s with Sarah Silverman now. (My brain is so random) So then there’s also Princess Yue. Now, I like Princess Yue. When I saw the preview for “The Waterbending Master” I was just like “Oh Sokka, stop trying to hide your gayness” Sokka: I think you’re beautiful. “………Okay, he’s bi.” I ship tokka (no sh*t sherlock) but I am a bit of a sucker for yukka. I mean, they’re such a beautiful couple against the backdrop of a lovely story. Maybe that’s the only reason I liked Farewell to Arms. We had to do annotations and one of mine was “Catherine reminds me of Princess Yue”. Same age difference between her and Sokka/Frederic, they’re both over emotional a lot, they’re both from a different nation than Sokka/Frederic, both stories are set during a war, they both have some other guy that’s getting in the way of Sokka/Frederic and also makes them emotional, they both die. Therefore: Catherine Barkley=Princess Yue. Also, everyone else in the series ended up with someone except Toph. A lotta people say that Sokka knew Suki first but hello! That’s because Toph was locked in her house her whole damn life! Of course…hehe…Suki might have been on a few more episodes if she hadn’t been imprisoned in the boiling rock. Whatever. Toph rocks. END OF STORY!
Part 2: MAIKO: Don’t worry. These all won’t take forever. I’m less defensive about this one because it’s canon. Much like tokka, Mai and Zuko really do bring out the best in each other. Honestly, there’s nothing more heartwarming than Mai when she’s truly happy and that’s usually when she’s with Zuko. Because, as it turns out (this was actually huge for me I’m not even lying), Mai is not just an emo kid and is actually a real person (and by real, I mean realistic. You won’t find her in Wal*Mart with Ursa or anything). I always used to think of her kind of like if you happened to catch the avatar abridged series episode 12 (which I recently realized is the Christmas Special! Not even lying here!) She’s all “We goths and emos don’t celebrate Christmas. The only holidadays we celebrate are Halloween and Arber day…because there’s nothing more boring than trees.” 10 POINTS TO MAI! Yes. I love Mai almost as much as I love Toph. Ya know, I read somewhere that it’s possible to die of a broken heart and it mostly happens to old people and that’s why couples usually die within weeks of each other, and I thought “Well, if Zuko’s dead, that’s probably what happened to Mai.” d’awww! Well this has kinda been all about Mai but if you haven’t read The Promise this is a spoiler so scroll down to part 3 which is about kataang. Anyway Zuko was flipping the shit and going crazy and Mai calmed him down and told him to get some sleep. And he did. Well maybe not the sleeping part. Ya know, I ship them so much that I legitamately think of them as a married couple. Isn’t that weird? They’re 16 and 17 and I already think of them as a married couple. Like in The Promise and the last episode. Not in LoK. I heard it through the grapevine that Bryke’s planning to screw this ship up. DON’T DO IT BRYKE! YOU ALREADY KILLED TOKKA!
Part 3: KATAANG: Well…I’m not gonna lie. I used to ship zutara. Actually I wasn’t a REAL zutara shipper. I just shipped them by default because I thought kataang was creepy. And I thought Katara was too awesome not to date anybody. Now, I literally have no feelings for or against zutara. Well actually *shrugs* I can see why people ship it. I will admit that. But this isn’t about zutara. This is about kataang. I mean, whose heart didn’t spontaniously combust when Aang said “How can I give up Katara? I…I love her!” Aw baby, let me hold you. I saw a comment on when people were talking about kataang vs. zutara. One person said “Aang is shorter than Katara and it looks weird when the guy is shorter than the girl”. I got a kick out of that. The old days. I mean, Aang is presh and Katara is beautiful. And without kataang, we would have no Tenzin AND TENZIN IS MY PEANUT BUTTER! … … … … Well it’s been a long time since I posted a random comment like that. Feels good. Anyway. kataang reminds me of me and my Italy boyfriend. A lot of people say I’m like Katara and that guy definitely reminded me of Aang. Same age difference. He was cute and classy, just like Aang. Aang, he’s just the classiest twelve year old in the world.
I had to.
Part 4: KATOPH: It’s crack so it won’t take that long. I found a youtube video of Toph and Katara singing “Take Me or Leave Me” from RENT. Totally accurate and sexy as hell. That is why I ship them. The end.
Part 5: SMELLERSHOT: OK. Lez’behonest. Who doesn’t ship this ship? I remember I first saw “The Serpent’s Pass” and I was busy doing something else (writing a script for this crazy musical parody of the show titled “Ba Sing Se is Falling Down”. No. I am NOT joking!) Me: Yay. Smellerbee’s a girl. I knew it. Smellerbee: You’re right, Longshot. Me: Wait WHAT? What did he say?! Evidentaly nothing. I just realized that this is pretty much the only canon ship where the guy is older. Hmmm. I also strongly believe that Skoochy is their grandson. And I mean Jew and ginger. Who doesn’t approve?
Part 6: TYZULA: I was actually on Mai’s ramblings and she described this ship as “canon” and now I’m like “What if Bryke was secretly making them lesbians on purpose?” Yes. Yes. They are so canon. Ty Lee didn’t give a crap that 10 boys were all over her but when Azula called her a tease she started crying and then proceeded to flirt with her. Azula calmed her down and said she was jealous. Of course, she wasn’t jealous of the boys; she was jealous of Ty Lee. Again, soft spots. This is just like Glee. Well we need SOME ambiguously gay couples on this show! And of course at the boiling rock, Ty Lee could not choose between her two lovers. Why she chose the one who already had a boyfriend I do not know. Oh wait *laughs* yes I do. She truly loved Azula but she didn’t think she could handle having such an abusive girlfriend. Azula was obviously mad when Mai betrayed her, but it was when Ty Lee left her that really threw her over the edge. Coincidence? I think not.
Part 7: BORRA: Maybe this one shouldn’t be so far down but I guess I did Korra ones last. Bolin. He is the best thing in the world, and he loves Korra. He loved her before he knew she was the Avatar, before he knew she was a bender, before he really knew how cool she was. I used to ship makorra, but Mako just doesn’t deserve that beautiful girl. I realized this in episode 4, not because I shipped masami. Nooooooooo. Not even close, my friend. Bolin is good to her, funny, good-looking and, if my may be quite frank, he’s probably great in bed, you know, considering all that experience. Of course, he’d never put that kind of pressure on her. Then there’s the other side. When Bolin told Korra how badass she was, she smiled so cute and laughed. It was pretty adorable. Really. It was. I love them both, Korra and Bolin. The only reason their date didn’t work out is because Mako had to go be an @$$hole with his “you are trying to get my attention”. You know what, Mako? She was just telling you how she felt. It didn’t really work out. Such is life, and she has accepted that. You have not. And you constantly use the whole thing against her. Is that the kind of person you would want for a boyfriend. Didn’t think so. Bolin, on the other hand: When Korra kissed Mako right in front of him, he never said anything more to her than “Haven’t you hurt me enough, woman?” You don’t see HIM bringing it back up 2 episodes later like SOME people…Just saying.
Part 8: LINZIN: So after I saw episode 5, I thought the woman Pema was talking about was Lin. My sister was like “No. I don’t think so.” And I was just like “OK.” HA! I WAS RIGHT ABOUT SOMETHING! I WAS DANCING THE WHOLE TIME DURING EPISODE 6! I know. This ship contradicts my otp, but I’m not that upset about it. But Lin is sexy for a 50-year-old. I mean, I still like Pema. I mean, those 3 awesome kids? They wouldn’t be here without her. But Linzin…Linzin rocks. It’s so funny because after episode 1 everyone was having Korra say “f*** the police”. After episode 6 everyone was having Tenzin say it…followed by “yes. yes I did”. Much like Mai, when Lin’s not bitching out about Korra, she is actually quite pretty. At some points, you can even see the Toph in her face. Just like you can see the Aang in Tenzin’s face.
Part 9: TAHNO: I know what you’re thinking: Tahno with who? That’s right. Tahno with himself. I’m sure he masturbates while looking at his reflection in the mirror. Some of you are probably thinking “But he’s too good to be forever alone.” He’s not forever alone. He’s just too good for everyone else. He dated a bunch of other people and ended up hating all of them because he felt like he was too good, so he dated himself and loved it. Tahno and Tahno were just madly in love with each other until one day, Amon took away his bending. That’s when he realized he didn’t love himself. He HATED himself. Just like everyone else. So Tahno broke up with Tahno, leaving Tahno horribly depressed. Make sense? Some of you are crying. It’s okay.
Part 10: MASAMI: I didn’t use to ship it. When they met, I thought “Fine, Mako! You don’t deserve Korra anyway!” which I still think is true, but then I started shipping them by default because of borra. After episode 7 I can officially ship them because Asami attacked her father, who is essentially the only true family she has left, for Mako. That’s real love. And then after seeing how awesomely badass she is, Korra let her stay at Air Temple Island. LIFE IS COOL AND I JUST ATE FOOD! … … … … yes.

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