Wednesday, January 29, 2014

The Black Barbie

 Th"Ooo Honey, your so gorgeous."
"You should be a model"
"You look just like a doll"
"You might as well be a barbie" 

That's how it starts. A little flattery, some confidence, and bam you think you're hot shit.

"But... You could lose a little weight" *cough* "I mean alot."
"You could use a nose job"
"Gurl you need some of that brazilian body wave!" 
"You should dye your hair"
"You should cut it all off."
"You should go natural." (This always a wtf qq cuz I AM natural) 

Everyone seems to dictate your life besides you! They want to correct you to be in their vision! 

This is me and nothing can change that.

"Oh thats what they all say."
"Have you tried bleaching your skin? You're a little too dark." 
"Tattoos and piercings? Tut tut tuut" 

Then the guys be like
"Ay yo shawty. You are so damn fine."
"Oh wow, stop for one moment so I can admire your beauty."
"But uh, well I kind already have girl friend."
"Your pretty but just not my type." 
"I'll call you" but doesn't 

I'm not one to pay attention to uneducated bottom feeders anyway but oh well. 


So whats the point I'm trying to bring across? There is a whole craze about being perfect and looking like a doll. Truth be told I dont find it hard to compare myself of a doll. Every rapper wants to be called the Black Barbie and be cute and everything. Being called a barbie is like the highest praise in some parts of the fashion industry. People get surgery and do crazy work to look closer to a barbie. Does anyone realize beside the makeup aspect that a looking like a barbie is extremely unrealistic. I cant even get my hair boned straight like most barbies nor can I achieve that level of thinnest and keep my curves in the same way a Barbie does. 

But the sad thing is a billion of other girls, myself included, will still try. What the difference between ulzzang and barbie-ism. Its trying to achieve best-face, no? There is a clear connection of gyaru and barbiesm too.

The leading modeling scam going on is called Barbizon! Conciedence? I think not! 

To step away from unrealistic imagery is the first step. You know what you can and cannot become. Forget what society idealizes beauty as look for your own inner beauty. When you are beautiful on the inside it will shine on the outside! Someone will see it whether its a photographer or your future husband.

The argument still stands that you are beautiful as you are, no questions asked. 

In other news, my birthday is coming up and i'm so sexcited! Im in the midst of planning it now so thats why I might be off my blogging. As usual I still got my pending Japan trip stressing me out. Nothing much is going on in my life besides that so forgive me in advance.

Ciao lovelies!!

Sunday, January 26, 2014

So I'm going to Japan

For the first time.

Trust me, I'm not calm. So much has been coming up lately and I can't really remain contained. So I'm going to blog up all my prep and the actual trip as it comes. I'm really stressing actually.

A major thing is my modeling career is about to really start and so many things are not really settled. My finances for Japan isn't quite set. I'm hoping that my tax returns will come in time to give me an extra boost but that isn't quite for certain. Why do these correlate with each other? Modeling is quite damn expensive to get a start in. Your agent might give you some costly "advice"  to help improve your career. Photographers for your portfolio is also expenisve at first, getting to casting calls (if you don't live in nyc) can be costly. It's alot being thrown at you.

Then with school.... my fiancial aid got messed up, so things are bit more complicated. I am attending school, but I'm stressing over getting it fixed as soon as possible so I can possibly buy my textbooks.

But Japan. This post is all about Japan.

I still don't have a passport and I'm leaving in 7 weeks. *begins slow claps*

I don't know what to do with my hair either. Don't think I'll be able to afford box braids or full head weave but I don't want to have my hair out because we are going to Hawaii after Japan annnd I'm filming in both locations. I might buy a wig, idk..

Then the elephant in the room returns! I have to tone up my tummy or else for this trip. I'm going to be in a bikini in Hawaii and I'm going to wear some fitted clothing in Japan.... err. Lovely right?

And I need to buy some circle lenses >__< I need a pair for all my shoost, my birthday, and etc. I swear by them so much, there is never a photographer who dare tells me take them out. 

Well everything else is settled.

I leave in March and I'm traveling with my sister to Shinjuku and Shibuya. We have a nice ittenary that involves visiting Meji Shrine, Alice in Wonderland Resturant and other things. Beside my one day filming and maybe a photoshoot sess with an amazing photograher, the whole idea is just to enjoy being in my dream city. (But for the sake of supersition and my bad luck trend I'm not trying to announce too much)

I don't want to shop too much because 1. I don't want to disappoint myself with clothes that won't fit and 2. Tokyo is uber expensive.

Hopefully, my jobs will have hours again soon and my budget will become beautiful. Hopefully I get some paid gigs too. If anything I'm just going to have to get a third job on campus (Yes that sounds quite wonderful).

I will keep you guys updated. Please if you have tip or helpful suggestions, leave them in the comment box below. I could use any type of help you guys may offer.


Wednesday, January 15, 2014

A Size 8 Model is Plus Size

Hello Lovelies, above is a bit of a sneak peek to a project I'm working on :). Lately I've done a few model gigs and I figured why not I really go into it seriously part time. Something to help pay college and learn how to take critism. I've signed on with a local agency and honestly I have a very long way to go before I can become anything. But I love it and it's such a cool experience so far. 

One thing that has been firmly placed as an obstacle however just happens to be my size. I have a gut, big boobs, and wide hips which all contribute to me being in between a Size 8 and Size 10. What I didn't know was it made me a plus size model.

At first I thought wow that's crazy because I mostly fit into mediums and even smalls but I didn't throw any contest to it. It's whatever. What really blew me over was that even in casting calls I often got rejected for being "too small". If I was to go to a straight size casting, I would be told I'm too big. Seriously?? (>__<)

There is no fair playing field in modeling, your either a size 4 or a 14. No one wants to see an Average Annie. 

Okay, cool, cool... maybe I should look at exotic modeling and club promotions. Like Crystal Renay, you know....

You got to have a big boobs, an even bigger butt, and an even flatter stomach. I no longer have a flat stomach, I have a bit of pudge and my ass is not that round. Honestly no type of workout could make me look like that^^. It all only comes down to either working out until I'm a size 6 or getting plastic surgery. Both things I'm not too ecstatic about and even question the possibility. I probably can't even get down to a size 6 because my hips are wide and bony.

Even Alternative Modeling is a tough one. I don't have enough tattoos or piercing for that -___-. Yea maybe I could dress a certain way for certain shoots but any model could do Alternative if it doesn't involve tattoos and piercing.

For now, I'm just keep hitting thy gym whenever there is space on my heavy schedule (I mean 2 jobs, college, and modeling- no biggie right). 

But you know what's really crazy?

A campaign like this. One the right is a size 4 model and on the left is a size 8. 

No, fashion is not created equal and it shouldn't be played off as if it is. There is no such thing as one size fits all. Instead of putting a regular size 8 they should  of a size 14 on the cover for some realism.

 I honestly don't vibe to this shoot and I wish they had done it properly.

Well that's all I had to say lovelies. 

Stay in touch with me daily:

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

US stores that Supply Himekaji Clothes

Hello Gals!!

Don't you hate it when you see cute clothes from your favorite stores like:

disclaimer: Ma*rs is really a agejo brand that you can flex into himekaji and roma gyaru

Liz Lisa

Ank Rouge

and they don't ship abroad??

Then your favorite stores that do ship abroad:

Bonbon21 for example

have astronomical shipping prices.

How do you get around it?

Well do you know that a lot of stores in the U.S can supply your himekaji needs?

A lot of Gals think they need to completely mimic the models that they see in magazines to complete the "look". That isn't true at all. The look is characterized essential elements. Once you have those elements you can buy clothes anywhere that will suit you. Also don't doubt any piece of clothing, anything can be worked into a kawaii outfit (except spikes and excess black- they are a no-no for himekaji lol). I will explain himekaji elements in another post.

Forever 21 stores are major hunting grounds for himekaji girls. The website may not show it well but Forever 21 stores have a section dedicated for feminine/girly style.

Forever 21 Himekaji

Forever 21 top

Forever 21 crochet top

mauve SKATER

An example of an outfit that could be made at Forever 21
These items are not found at F21 but a similar variation can be form
Agaci, which has slowly been climbing into favorites list, has really given me this life! They are the only store in an entire mall (reminder Palisades Mall is the 11th biggest mall in the US) that has romantic color palette. This is perfect for Himekaji and Roma Gyaru.
Agaci Himekaji

 I don't usually add Delia to my shopping list because they can be a tad but pricey but they do have a lot going in store as well as a lot of kawaii accessories.
delias himkaji

The following stores had himekaji worthy clothes in store but I couldn't extract it from their websites.
Jennyfer (RGA)

I leave out Charlotte Russe and Wet Seal (whom would've normally made this list) because they are too mainstream and mode style right now.However I've bought some cute accessories from Charlotte Russe and they did once have bow shoes if that count.

Another thing that a lot himekaji and roma gyaru's forget is that storenvy caters to a lot of our needs. Don't be afraid to even search within the sweet lolita stores. They have plenty of cute items for everyone! One of my favorite stores is Bow Kuma.


And the best part is they are local , inexpensive, and have a variety of cute stuff.

Please remember, its not the item that makes it himekaji, it's how you wear it! Especially the Agaci items, if you wear the items by themselves, they won't come out as cutesy as desire but with the right coord and accessories, it's very cutesy. Also adding lace to your pieces will help a ton too. Forever 21 sells a large variety of floral skater skirts that fit himekaji look as well, you just got to look and see what's cute.

So I hope that this really helps you gals when you go shopping.Tell me your opinions.

For more posts and daily feeds, please be sure to like my facebook page!

Friday, January 3, 2014

2014; start of an evolution

Each year, I draft up a resolution and post it somewhere. I'm pretty good about resolutions. I'll check it several times a year and it may take me a year or two but one way or another the resolution will always come true. The one thing that never comes true (or rather, stay true) is probably my love life, lmaoo, you can't force things to hold on or be 100% perfect wtf.

My fortune cookie told me that "going too far is no better than falling short." Unfortunate for me, this year is the ambition year. I have a very positive outlook on this year and hope I can achieve a lot. I honestly don't think I know how to take a break or work less~ but oh well.

1. Open a blogshop:

My dream that I've been working on for a year, has always been slathered by financial shortfalls and inattentiveness. I really want to make this a reality.

2. Get a good camera:

This is a recurring thing for 2 years. I had a camera- it broke, got it fixed, it broke again. I have been using phone cameras for this blog and I absolutely hate it!!

3. Start working on my career:

Hopefully by this summer, I will work as a social media specialist or something along those lines. I love Visual Merchandising and Styling but I don't know how far I'm willing to go with that. I'll have to see, sooner or later everything will be figured out.

4. Finish and Get closer to publishing a book

I've been way to busy to really sit down and write but hopefully this year will be the year for me. I have all these story ideas for about 6~7 incomplete books which

5. Keep improving my style and make-up
I really want Bonbon21 items omg

I've involved into himekaji and roma gyaru fashion wise, makeup wise-no major improvement. Whether I go down the gyaru route is always up for discussion but fashion wise, I think I found my niche.

6.  Work towards a flatter stomach and flexibility

I've done well towards having a healthy life style and working out (via dancing everyday) but visible weight loss in my core area is doing me so well. Also working on splits, scorpions, and toe touches is a must this year. DANCE IS LIFE.

7. On that note, improve as a dancer,

Overall I can only dance contemporary and jazz but struggle alot with hip hop. Hopefully this year I will learn a lot.

8. Succeed in school
^^even tho i'm not in high school anymore (insider joke)

I did very average last semester (because I was working 40hr weeks and getting home lord knows when). With my new schedules, I should be able to succeed better in school and get all As in every class.

9. Work on nail art 

 I came a long way this year and I still have some ways to go.

10. Make more and save more.

This year I want to be able to buy all the cute clothes I want and I want to have a comfortable amount of money in my bank (to let go of all any miseries that incurred last year)

11. Move out or have a princess room

Moving out is a far off dream. But that princess room however it's gonna happen one way or another. No games, no games!

12.  Live a little bit more exciting life
Cheesie lives a pretty exciting life

2013 introduced a lot of exciting things into my life but there is nothing wrong with just adding a little bit more?

13. Hopefully get my drivers license, 

I know, 2 years in the making so far.

14. And as always be the best i can be and not what everyone else expects of me.

This year I didn't add blogging (or any other social media activities matter of fact) because at this point it should be the expectation, not the goal. So this year I will return to weekly blogging, I will update my twitter more (daily starting tonight). I will have twice daily updates on my instagram, and my facebook page will have daily posts.

So add me:




And I promise, a ton of interesting content will be coming your way soon, drafting at least 3 post tonight :3