Sunday, May 13, 2012

My Revelation

So I'm going to curse myself for dragging myself into this drama but I have to say my voice has to be heard.

I wanted to be Gyaru because I was hoping Gyaru makeup would make be prettier. It does changes a lot  about my face but I realized it's a lot of make-up for no reason. All I ever really needed is concealer, eyeliner,  and circle lens to be happy with my appearance. I know, it''s still pretty vain but no where to  extent Gyaru goes.

Of course I would happier with a few more good hair days, some weight loss, and becoming a quite a bit smarter but I'm working on that. I started this blog not to track my gyaru process, not to earn money, not to become famous but so I can look back on the little things of my life. I used to keep diaries, but they are all gone. I never really liked Tumblr and I'm not twitter addict. I don't watch my stats and don't have a followers sidebar. I get more happy when I see people leaving comments on my blog rather than my stats spike up. That's just me.

To be honest, bloggers, in the most vain categories (Gyaru, fashion, and makeup)  get famous in two ways. Youtube and self-promoting themselves on websites (such as Lookbook and more famous people's blogs). Very few bloggers get famous without doing that.  Some times its unintentional, other times it is intentional. Doesn't change the fact that its what happen.  I don't have a niche, I'm probably considered a lifestyle blogger, but I haven't really said much yet, my blog seems generic and boring to me. I really hope to change that by next year.

In the Gaijin Gyaru internet world, we find ourselves in a unique situation. We, in the western world,  see gyaru as idols. If you can't become the perfect Idol, you can't become gyaru. It's our simple fact of life. Easily seen our english speaking Idols tend to be powerful bloggers (ex. Cheesie and others),  trying to diss such powerful bloggers would easily put you in the social media world blacklist (only exception is Dawn Yang). So we go for the younger and "up and starting" bloggers who are trying to make a name for themselves. We hope that these new bloggers can never make a name for themselves because we want to be the exclusive idols.

Of course there are few who slip pass us. They become stars before we can ever crack them down.  Tv stars and whatever. One day we wish to be on T.V too.
Like Usagiipyon

Do you recognize that type of thinking? It's what screams at me when I ever I read Gal Secrets. Let's honesty on that's just how it truly is. And that's why I disconnected myself with posting Gyaru attempts, and the community at whole. It was stupid. I remember posting magazine scans and pictures of myself I was quickly dissed by the gyaru community yet my pictures had nothing to do with gyaru at all. I was so upset after that and vowed to never become one of those girls. Those damn gyarus.

I was later put on Gal Secrets too. I hated the world more than anything with that. The people who thought they were trying to help me were just hurting my self-esteem.

Now how does that relate back to My Revelation? Simple.

It took me months to gain my confidence in the online world. It still hard for me to post pictures of myself. I couldn't write things as I wish to. I check gyaru secrets every Sunday yet I never posted a thing myself.

Until recently I thought these old wounds had healed. I was extremely wrong.  I found some misplaced anger over the ShunTara thing.  These people bashed her so openly for having an OPINION. Because she didn't agree with them, they told her to not call herself Gyaru. ShunTara is the same age is me, did nothing wrong, and her makeup and style matches an older and more experience gyaru. In fact I thought she was older than me because of her style and how GOOD she was at it.

This thing open up something for me.  I realized how much I relied on what people thought of me and I will always be misunderstood.  Gal Secret reminded me, that media could do these type of things to people.

Now my revelation is simple. I have to take these things and let it go. I am beautiful as I am, I write as I do, and I am who I am. They could tell me all these things that would make me one of them but don't have to be one of them. I have to one of me. I may not be the most popular blogger in the world and I may not be a gyaru but I am... ME.

My non-gyaru idols?
Circle lens lovers unite!

Now Deuces, derp face style.


  1. I really like this post. In all honesty I always feel as if I'm walking on egg shells in the gal community. To the point where i just label myself "kawaii" or "cute" and bounce back and forth between asian and pretty styles. I'm really liking your blog by the way. Good Work :D

    1. Thanks for liking my post. I think this post is pretty relate-able to a lot of people.